The hem of the Lady Witless's long gown sweeps the floor as she glides to her workbench. She taps a skull dangling above the bench and light glows brightly from its eye sockets.

"Now, where was I before that annoying feeling interrupted me? Ah, yes!"

Almost lovingly, her fingertips trace the edges of a book so thick and heavy that it had taken two strong servants and a cart just to transport it to her workshop: The Absolutely Positively Complete Unabridged Dictionary.

She opens it to the very last word on the very last page, then begins to chant as she sways from side to side.

"z...y...x...w...v...u...t...s..." Lady Witless spits each letter out of her mouth as if it were a prune pit.

"r...q...p...o...n...m..." She rakes her long fingernails over the page of the book. Shreds of paper billow around her as she works. Hours go by, then days, until she stands knee-deep in all of the words in the universe.